I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
