They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
