just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize