They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
