I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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