Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
