I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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