the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
