very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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