U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
