I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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