before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize