i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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