yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
