Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize