Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
