I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
