My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
