Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Bring me that man meat
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