I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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