what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
