i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
