Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
