in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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