he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize