Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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