apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
