well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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