i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
this is an emotional support booty call
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
