he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The beer is more important than you right now.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Someone signed my nipple.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
