New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
