you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
