I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
