so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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