I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
