I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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