Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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