i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i need some magic done to my vagina
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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