now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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