He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
