Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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