Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
