sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize