I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
