Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
