Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
