He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I think my moral compass just broke
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
