How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
