you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm sobbing to NWA
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
