i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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