3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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