she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
