I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
