His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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