dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dear god my vagina.
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