I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
