If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
