I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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