what day is it and did you see me today?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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