3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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