You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
