She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize