First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
