Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
