yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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