Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
