I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
