I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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