But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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