And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I love you. Go after that dick
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize