I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
