Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I am available for nakedness
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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