What did we do last night that was yellow?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
