Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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