but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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