Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
