your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
