I feel like abortions should bother me more
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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