yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
