What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
