Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
