Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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