you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
