Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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