I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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