you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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